we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's just like the Real World with babies
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
