We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
