My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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