If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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