I heard we made out
he shaved USA in his pubs
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The adults are the big ones right?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
