Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
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