Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.