Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it

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(202): Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it http://tfl.nu/1l0l

Replies (1) Good night (845) Bad night (772)
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(770): View more from Georgia

We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."

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(770): We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem." http://tfl.nu/qcu7

Replies (13) Good night (2535) Bad night (590)
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(904): View more from Florida

How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.

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(904): How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face. http://tfl.nu/e61v

Replies (17) Good night (590) Bad night (3010)
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(917): View more from New York City

I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do

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(917): I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do http://tfl.nu/8eef

Replies (10) Good night (3295) Bad night (895)
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(619): View more from California

you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

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(619): you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top http://tfl.nu/edw1

Replies (18) Good night (975) Bad night (2966)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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(513): I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties. http://tfl.nu/yluk

Replies (7) Good night (3914) Bad night (630)
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(224): View more from Illinois

My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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(224): My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it. http://tfl.nu/fqyk

Replies (18) Good night (917) Bad night (2746)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.

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(810): Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/9d1q

Replies (25) Good night (1830) Bad night (5526)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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(480): Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/itom

Replies (2) Good night (2741) Bad night (1050)
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(440): View more from Ohio

basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

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(440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu

Replies (3) Good night (818) Bad night (2680)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.

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(612): I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot. http://tfl.nu/k764

Replies (3) Good night (1899) Bad night (487)
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(207): View more from Maine

I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.

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(207): I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside. http://tfl.nu/x4yl

Replies (5) Good night (1612) Bad night (833)
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(253): View more from Washington

I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH

(360): View more from Washington

Yes

(253): View more from Washington

O.K.

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(253): I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH (360): Yes (253): O.K. http://tfl.nu/wpv0

Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (912)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me

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(336): Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me http://tfl.nu/v2u1

Replies (10) Good night (949) Bad night (401)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."

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(586): I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone." http://tfl.nu/272w

Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (298)

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