Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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