escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.