the condom got lost in my hair
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
