And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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