I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
