i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
