But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
