OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
