Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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