what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
