First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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