wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Randomize
