Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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