my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
