he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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