also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
