Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
