Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
