One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
