Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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