Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
