Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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