you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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