Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
