soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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