If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
