Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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