She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
