she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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