Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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