YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
