My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
