it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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