This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
