This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
