"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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