I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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