Redeem this text for a blowjob
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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