alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
