But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
