You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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