People with herpes should wear stickers.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
