i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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