Need sex. Gaining weight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
