If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
