Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize