glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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