You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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