sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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