my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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