I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..