I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential