Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass