Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
