AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize