what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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