the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
