Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
