You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
