we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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