my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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