his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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